On Jews and Lists and Movies

Earlier this month, Tablet Magazine slowly unwrapped its list of the 100 Greatest Jewish Films of all time. I let this one slip past my radar until I read Heeb alum and Indiewire’s lead film critic Eric Kohn’s take on the thing over on his site, Screen Rush:

Nevertheless, the deeper you dig into Tablet’s list, the higher your eyebrows are bound to rise. "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? "Miracle on 34th Street"? "Citizen Kane"? Come now.

Interest piqued, I dove into their list and, sure enough, I was as confounded as Kohn was with most of their picks. The whole piece may as well be called "A List of Movies We Could be Pithy About." There are a few redeeming bits here and there, but overall it’s a disjointed venture, an over-intellectualized attempt at tickling their way into an assload of pageviews.

Tablet’s primary mistake is that they don’t set down finite ground rules for their rankings. What, after all, constitutes a Jewish film? For these writers, the rules are apparently malleable. Sometimes it’s a Jewish film because of its themes, other times it’s because the filmmakers or actors are Jewish. Other times it’s just to be contrary and still other times it’s because there’s Nazis in the film, somewhere. The Sound of Music? What are you talking about?

Heeb undertook a task as monumental but more manageable when we published our 100 Greatest Jewish Movie Moments. The difference there is that the moments we chewed on were clear and explicable. That’s why it makes more sense that our list concludes with John Goodman’s classic diatribe from The Big Lebowski whereas Tablet plops the entire film at number 15. What, besides this scene and Goodman’s other Hebraic flourishes, makes the film a paragon of Jewish cinema? I can’t tell you, because they opted not to explain their thinking.

Probably the stupidest choice on their list is their number one spot, which went to E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial. Jody Rosen tries to explain the thinking behind naming it "the greatest Jewish movie ever made."

The saga of the spaceman marooned on planet Earth follows the classic, folkloric outline of the foundling myth. But there is another, archetypally Jewish story here, a minority story, indeed: an immigrant’s tale. E.T. is the ultimate greenhorn—an anxious, bewildered creature, adrift in a strange land. Like generations of newcomers before him, E.T. learns to speak a few halting, oddly accented English words, including the phrase that migrated from Melissa Mathison’s script straight into pop-culture lore. Your great-great-grandparents recited Psalm 137 and sang “Mein Shtetle Belz.” This alien says "E.T. phone home."

Uh huh. All immigrants are Jews. Or all spacemen are Jews. Or something.

Rosen meanders around universal themes in the film for 700 words, never once coming close to defending the concept that E.T. is a specifically Jewish film. Probably because it isn’t. Overall, this is the issue with the list as a whole. The writers and editors at Tablet are imprinting their own Jewishness scattershot on a pile of films that seemed decent enough to include. Many of them have no Jewish overtones, undertones or otherwise, but hey, look! They put White Christmas on their list! Edgy.

Let’s dig in a little deeper to some more nonsense. Sunset Boulevard is the second most Jewish film ever because its lesson is that "life is tough." Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind made it to number ten because, "In a word, Judaism is this: Remember!" Sergei Eisenstein’s Battleship Potemkin is on the list simply because it’s a great film.

Sergei Eisenstein’s masterpiece influenced generations of filmmakers—some of whom blatantly copied from the master—and did more than almost any other film in history to shape the grammar of the nascent medium.

Nevermind Eisenstein’s inclusion of an anti-anti-semitic moment in the film, when a blowhard amidst fervent revolutionaries rants "Kill the Jews!," after which he is roundly beaten.

Not selling you on stupid quite yet? How about number 75, "Every Jeff Goldblum Movie Ever." I’m surprised Tablet didn’t actually include them all so they could pump more clicks out of you.

One of the most annoying on the list is number 100, Schindler’s List which the editors hate. Liel Liebovitz explains:

And yet, for all of its wretched awfulness, we couldn’t help but include the film in our list; its massive visibility helped educate wide swaths of the population previously only dimly aware of the subject.

How caddish to put this film all the way down at 100 just to prove a point. If you hate it so much leave it off, but the point of the list isn’t really to say anything about Jewish cinema, is it? It’s to prove your cleverness, nu?

All Time Great Movies On DVD

Movies have always fascinated people the world over. The classic movies of the 50s and 60s have enthralled viewers with their magnificent scenery, great storylines, and sizzling star castings. These movies have never gone out of style or even out of our minds. Movies like 'Gone with the wind', 'Sound of music', 'My fair lady' and 'Roman Holiday' all have their own unique charm that has captivated the hearts of millions of viewers the world over. These epic movies have created a permanent place in the hearts and minds of millions of moviegoers.

Watching these all time great movies on DVD is a great way to celebrate holidays or other special occasions. We will be discussing here some of the greatest movies of all time which are available on DVD for home viewing.

One such great "must watch" is the epic movie named 'Ten Commandments' based on the biblical story of Moses. This movie is great to watch with the whole family. The character of Moses was portrayed by Charton Heston, which became as immortal as the film itself. The story from the bible is the source of the plot, along with it the backdrop of an era before Christ, where Jewish slaves where inhumanly tortured. Together with the intriguing life of Moses, these things combine to make this movie an all time great.

Another such piece, which comes to mind while talking about the all time great movies on DVD, is the classic musical 'Sound of music'. This is the story of the VonTrapp family with seven little children who lost their mother very early and were raised by their father captain Georg VonTrapp played by Christopher Plummer. Along comes Maria played by Julie Andrews who serves as a governess for these seven children. The songs in this film herald the musicals of that era. One the most wonderfully shot, picturized and choreographed movies of all time is this one, which we would love to treasure on DVD. It is a great film, which can be watched by every generation and will remain forever young in the minds of generations to come.

A classic movie called 'My fair lady' is an all time favorite for most viewers. It is about an uneducated woman who sells flowers. The main character Eliza Dolittle played by none other than beautiful Audrey Hepburn and Professor Henry Higgins played by Rex Harrison. Here Audrey Hepburn plays a clumsy flower girl with thick cockney accent.

Another very nice heart warming romantic movie, which is a good watch on your home DVD is the classic 'Roman Holiday'. Audrey Hepburn plays Princess Anne who is weary of the strict protocols and anxious to have some fun before she is crowned with the responsibilities of the affairs of the state. Anne escapes her royal retainers in Rome and scampers incognito through the city. She happens to meet American journalist Joe Bradley played by none other than the handsome Gregory Peck, who at once recognizes her as a source of hot news and offers to give her a guided tour of Rome. Both characters fall in love with each other.

Taylor Lautner Talks Breaking Dawn: "It's the Best One!"

We'll get to Breaking Dawn in a minute, but first, let's talk Taylor Lautner's ego.

At just 19, he's been compared to megastars like Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg and Tom Cruise, he's got a smoking hot bod (Brad Pitt's even noticed!) and makes boatloads of money ($200,000 car, anyone?).

So has all the fame gone to the young Twilight star's head?

READ: Taylor Lautner Naked in Abduction? "There Is an Intense Steamy Scene," Star Says

We're happy to report, no!

"He's so humble!" Lautner's Abduction costar Michael Nyqvist told us at last night's Hollywood premiere of the flick. "If I at that age had that kind of career, I'd go crazy. He's so cool about it. He's a very good guy."

Lautner proved it when he greeted hundreds of screaming fans and signed autographs along Hollywood Boulevard for more than half an hour before finally walking the red carpet.

Lautner, dressed in a dark blue Paul Smith suit and sportin' some scruff, dished to E! News that he's already prepping for the impending pandemonium for the first of the two Breaking Dawn movies.

"I'm so excited," he gushed. "I always do get excited but I can say I've never been more excited than for this one specifically."

Oh? "For me, it's by far my personal favorite," he says. "It's the best one."

As for reports that he's is set to team up with Dwayne Johnson (aka "The Rock") for the upcoming action flick Goliath, Lautner says nothing's official.

"There's a few things floating around right now that I'm very excited about," he told us. "It's a little too early to tell. I can definitely say I'll be challenging myself to something new."

Also at the premiere were Lautner's pal Selena Gomez and boyfriend Justin Bieber. However, only Ms. Gomez took some time to stop on the red carpet for pics.

A Dangerous Mind with Keira Knightley

Keira Knightley needed vodka shots to prepare for spanking scenes

What's the best way to get ready to shoot a confronting movie scene? Vodka shots — at least according to Keira Knightley.

Knightley has a lead role in A Dangerous Mind, the latest film from notoriously weird director David Cronenburg, playing Sabina Spielrein, who comes between psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud (played by Viggo Mortensen) and Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender).

One scene depicting Jung violently spanking Spielrein is so full-on that Knightley needed some dutch courage to film it.

"I did a couple of shots of vodka — definitely — beforehand, and then a couple of glasses of champagne as a celebration of never having to do that again," she told press at the Toronto Film Festival.

Knightley is adamant the scene isn't just "some weird sexy spanking thing", revealing she was never actually spanked. "There was a box which [Fassbinder] hit, so he was nowhere near me, thank God!"

Ryan Gosling Is Silent, Deadly and Fantastic Behind the Wheel in Drive

Review in a Hurry: Ryan Gosling is a driver. He's a very good driver. He can drive stunt cars and getaway cars, and he can also fix cars. Then one day, things don't go so well. Lots of violence happens. Simple, yes, but funny how the no-frills approach really, really works in this instance.

The Bigger Picture: It's fascinating how the simple act of eliminating a lead character's back story can make a movie 100 percent better, at least in this case. Most filmmakers would have taken the time to show us exactly why Gosling's unnamed driver is so focused on cars and punctuality, perhaps with flashbacks to his childhood as in the James Sallis novel the movie's based on.

But director Nicholas Winding Refn (Bronson) and screenwriter Hossein Amini (the forthcoming Snow White and the Huntsman) give us nothing to go on besides his single-mindedness in the present, which feels appropriate. He doesn't analyze his actions or focus on the past, so why should the film do that on his behalf?

We know the driver instead through his actions. He's a master behind the wheel, whether crashing cars for the movie business or holding his more criminal clients to a strict five-minute timetable. There's no margin for error in his life, and he's so unaware of his own need for human contact that he barely understands what it is when a beautiful next-door neighbor (Carey Mulligan) and her young son spur a vaguely remembered sense of protectiveness. When her husband returns from prison in debt to some seriously scummy shysters, the driver's willing to help him do one last job to pay off the psychos and protect the family. But those one last jobs never quite work out as they should, and one of the hazards here involves Albert Brooks, doing a surprisingly scary turn as a crooked mobster.

So silent and still is Gosling that the moments of violence, when they do come, would be shocking no matter what. Be forewarned, though: While the gore isn't wall-to-wall, it's horror-movie level when it does erupt. One could infer that the driver is still in shell-shock from similar prior events, but that's just a guess. The hypnotic, synth-driven songs and score that power many of the driving scenes suggest his attempt at entering a more peaceful trance.

It's possible that Drive benefits from low critical expectations in a slightly disappointing cinematic year, but it's certain nonetheless that it's one of the best of 2011.

The 180—a Second Opinion: Refn occasionally goes overboard with subjective illumination. During several notable scenes, the use of an overly artificial spotlight distracts from the metaphorical one the moment already inherently has.

"Planet of the Apes" remake puts franchise back on track

If the prospect of another journey to the Planet of the Apes holds as much appeal for you as a rotten banana, you're not alone.

Tim Burton's flung-poo 2001 remake squandered a lot of the goodwill amassed by the original franchise which, between the years of 1968 and 1975, yielded five movies, a live-action TV series, and a Saturday morning cartoon.

"Rise of the Planet of the Apes" is everything Burton's movie wasn't -- smart, exciting and thought-provoking, while operating in the realm of the movies' great misunderstood monsters.

Like King Kong and Godzilla before him, audiences will fear the intelligent ape Caesar (played brilliantly via motion-capture animation by Andy Serkis) while also empathizing with his plight.

The film stars James Franco as Will Rodman, a genetics researcher testing a new drug on apes that repairs neural pathways and could potentially cure Alzheimer's. It's a personal crusade for Will, whose father Charles -- played by John Lithgow -- suffers from the disease.

The drug seems to be working on a lab ape known as "Bright Eyes" (that's what the intelligent apes called Charlton Heston in the original movie, and it's one of about a dozen shout-outs to the original "Apes" films here), but when she goes on a rampage, drug company exec Jacobs (David Oyelowo) shuts down the program.

Bright Eyes didn't freak out because of the drug, however; she was merely protecting her baby, the one that Will takes home, raises on his own, and names Caesar. And while Caesar has benefited from his mother's exposure to the drug, Will secretly brings the experimental formula home and start giving it to Charles, who seems to be improving.

As Caesar gets older, Will's girlfriend Caroline (Freida Pinto, playing a zoo vet so underwritten that Rosario Dawson's character in "Zookeeper" feels like Dr. Jane Goodall by comparison) warns him that the ape will become strong and violent.

And when a pushy next-door neighbor gets into an altercation with a now-relapsing Charles, Caesar lashes out and winds up getting incarcerated in a primate facility where he learns the law of the jungle -- and figures out a way to build an army against the cruel humans.

Plot-wise, "Rise" most resembles "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes," in which talking ape Caesar leads his enslaved brothers in a revolt. But while that film was more of a political parable, this new one marries questions about the excesses of genetics research with a tense and suspenseful prison-break story. (The latter mirrors director Rupert Wyatt's exceptional previous film, "The Escapist.")

So many contemporary movies have a hard time balancing two things at once -- "The Change-Up" treats gross-out gags and midlife romance like they were walking and chewing gum -- that it's a real pleasure to watch "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" unfold, skillfully encompassing sci-fi, action, suspense, and the Will/Caesar relationship, which falls somewhere between parent/child and boy-and-his-dog.

Franco's not the first actor you'd think of for this kind of movie, but he plays it straightforwardly, handling the role's emotional moments and its streams of science-babble with ease. He also knows that, billing aside, this is Serkis' show all the way.

Cox, who spear-headed the prison break in "The Escapist," flips the script by playing the warden of the monkey jail, and if Tom Felton wanted to avoid post-"Harry Potter" typecasting after a decade of playing Draco Malfoy, then perhaps playing Cox's sadistic, chimp-taunting son wasn't the way to do it.

With its army of apes, chimpanzees, orangutans, and gorillas, "Rise" bites off a lot, effects-wise, but the movie delivers some of the best motion-capture animation since "Avatar." Nobody gives a performance with ping-pong balls on his face like Andy Serkis, as he previously proved in "King Kong" and the "Lord of the Rings" movies, and here he makes Caesar vulnerable, conflicted, loving, and ultimately terrifying.

It's not the kind of acting that wins awards, but Serkis' work here is mesmerizing. (Granted, I miss the old-school methods, where Kim Hunter and Roddy McDowall were buried in layers and layers of latex to play the simian stars, but when the CG is this good, it's hard to complain.)

While there are some minor nits to be picked here -- Pinto's barely-there character, a rare slackening of the pace in the build-up to the big finale, a few too many inside jokes for fans of the original "Apes" series" -- "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" feels like a genuine summer surprise.

Who would think that the dog days of August would give us one of the most genuinely appealing big-studio tentpole movies of the year?

Shia Labeouf, Megan Fox hit the back seat for ‘Transformers’

Actor Shia Labeouf was making headlines on Tuesday — only hours before his new movie “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” premiered in theaters — with an interview published in Details magazine in which he claims that he and former “Transformers” co-star Megan Fox shared some intimate moments on the set of the films. It makes us wonder what exactly took place in the back seats of those shape-shifting “Transformers” cars.

The Details profile says its reporter asked LaBeouf if he had “hooked up” with the 25 year-old sex symbol, and the actor nodded in the affirmative. “Look, you’re on the set for six months with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” LaBeouf told the magazine. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry on-screen,” he said.

The 25 year-old LaBeouf was asked by Details if, at the time he and Fox were together, she was in a relationship with then boyfriend and now husband Brian Austin Green. “I don’t know,” LaBeouf said, repeating the answer several times according to the magazine. A representative for Fox declined comment.

Fox starred in the 2007 “Transformers” and the 2009 sequel “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” but she was dropped from the franchise for the third film. “Dark of the Moon,” in the latest installment Fox has been replaced with former lingerie model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. We wonder what stories the actor might cook up, if any, about hooking up with her four years from now on, say, “Transformers 5″.